Study finds link between imminent new iphone release, suicide rates at Foxconn factory


A new study has confirmed the existence of a strong correlation between an imminent new iphone release and the suicide rate at Foxconn factories of the chinese manufacturer that mass produces the devices on behalf of Apple inc.

Foxconn, which is continously plagued by worker suicides, has confirmed that suicides do not happen uniformly during the year. Data that has been released by the company recently has had a number of researchers poring over it with startling results.

The data does not lie
The data does not lie

“We always knew that there was a link, but could not conclusively say so until now” one the the researchers who conducted the study excitedly said to our reporter.

In the weeks or even month before a new iphone is about to hit the Apple stores, suicide rates spike exponentially at all production lines of Foxconn. This allows us to predict other events based on the current suicide rate.

Seven employees jumped to their death last week alone. This confirms that a new iphone is imminent, possibly mere weeks away, fueling excitement and speculation from Apple fans and gadget geeks worldwide.

Meanwhile back at the production line the company has installed new “suicide nets” to cope with the expected spike in suicides.


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