EARTH — Hackers broke into God’s computer system this morning, releasing data on every single one of the earth’s 7 billion human inhabitants, including among other things, the date and time of each and every one’s eventual death.

Calling IT the biggest information breach in the history of mankind, God’s assitants are scrambling to contain the information leak which is wrecking havoc on every corner of the Globe. Some countries have resorted to extreme measures, like blocking internet access or even cutting off power completely until the problem of the information leak has been addressed. “This is bad” a high ranking divine official declared, “Not only do they now know that there is no heaven and hell, but they also know the precise date and time when this illusion was supposed to come to an abrupt end.”

Several experts are liking this unprecedented event, to an information nuclear explossion, saying that its effects will be felt well into the next 100 years, until almost every one of the current living inhabitants of earth, is dead.

God himself, was unavailable when reached for comment.


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