As the earth runs low on suicide bombers, heaven reports virgin shortages


Earth — Earth is burning through its supply of suicide bombers (also known as islamic smart bombs) very fast, leading to an acute scarcity in this profession, while at the same time, Heaven is running short on virgins. In short, both Heaven and Earth are fucked.

While there is no shortage of oil and other energy sources in this time of war, suicide bombers are dying in droves, either from their own hand or via the relentless bombing of their hideouts by Russia, France, The UK and others testing their latest missiles and weapons systems.

Recruitment efforts on the social media and other venues have also fallen short, as more and more potential suicide bombers become aware of heaven’s shortage of virgins.

“I’ve got no more virgins for these guys to fuck,” said Allah, “fuck me!”



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